Something happened to him out there in the desolate, white, and icy landscape. He was filled with an inner darkness. Every single day for several hours through extreme cold, he was only in the company of his own negative thoughts. He felt lonely and abandoned. And there were still 50 days of marching left before the goal: the South Pole
"I didn't get out of the negative spiral," says Erik Bertrand Larssen.
He looks up with a heavy and steady gaze.
"At this point, I was unsure if I would make it."
Fear prevents you from living the life you dream of
Erik Bertrand Larssen is a paratrooper, business economist, author, speaker, and mental trainer. He has taught athletes, business people, and top executives to follow their dreams, that belief can move mountains, and that the will to succeed can overcome the fear of failure.
Now he sits here in a white shirt, with a trimmed beard and a twinkle in his eye. It has been 16 years since he had a revelation at a seminar in London, where he listened to the American author and coach Tony Robbins. He went home, quit his job as a business economist, rented a tiny office, and embarked on a new life as a mental trainer and sparring partner. Since then, everything has grown. He has been called Norway's motivation guru, had his own TV program, and helped world stars like tennis player Casper Ruud, former cross-country skier Petter Northug, and professional wrestler Stig-André Berge to success.
The essence of mental training is to become aware of your thoughts. That what you choose to think affects you and changes your life. Most people are held back by fear. Fear of the unpleasant, fear of what others say, or fear of life itself. But that fear prevents you from living the life you want.
He leans forward in the chair.
"Some are good at understanding the power of thought. Athletes, soldiers, and surgeons are used to having to perform, they need to use mental techniques to win a race or save a life. But for an ordinary person in everyday life, it's not as easy to see the effect of the mental. But I am convinced that everyone can develop into a better version of themselves.”
He has the ballast from his own life, which balances all the theory. As a child, he felt like an outsider, he was teased and had a hard time in school. He spent a lot of time alone in his room reading stories about Churchill, Nansen, Heyerdahl, and Columbus. He dreamed himself into their lives. Those who dared to follow their dreams. He is still the boy inspired by heroes, and he is also shaped by everything life has thrown at him since: Depression, divorce, addiction, and shame.
I have been in serious trouble. But mental training is not about avoiding the painful and difficult – quite the opposite.
He gestures eagerly with his hands.
"An important element in mental training is to challenge life. It's only a matter of time before you will experience illness, death, or other setbacks. Life is brutal! You must acknowledge that the painful and difficult are part of the journey. Look at many of those who have experienced success: They haven't avoided the unpleasant because they understand that it's a prerequisite for feeling the opposite. They want an emotional journey full of contrasts. I want that too.”
The expedition to the South Pole
And that's exactly why Erik Bertrand Larssen put himself in the brutal and difficult situation almost a year ago. He chose to go on an expedition to the South Pole – 1360 kilometers on skis, all alone, completely voluntarily. Only him, the sled with the equipment, and the tent. Only him and 60 days in the coldest, harshest, and most demanding climate the planet can offer.
I wanted to feel the pain from the contrasts in life. Because if I adjust everything to the comfortable, life becomes too gentle. But I want to be able to say to myself at the end of my life: I had a wonderful time.
"After 10 days, I thought I had been on the trip long enough, but then there were still 50 days left. I was surprised at how long I had those negative thoughts in me. Typically 8-12 hours a day every single day, everything seemed dark. "What's happening?" I asked myself.”
Besides the physical resistance from cold, wind, and climate, divorces, pill abuse, and negative media coverage also hung over him like a black cloak.
There were many days of introspection, but I also realized that I had to process my thoughts. I had to speak out loud to myself and became more melancholic than I thought I was. I got frighteningly close to myself, and there was nowhere to escape to.
- What do you do when you can't escape?
"You can either give up. Or confront yourself. And what almost everyone experiences when you're in it, whether it's illness, divorce, or death, is that you get through it. And if you manage to get through it, you'll notice that it's beautiful. Then you've shown that you have superpowers.”
He broke one of his skis, got a fever, stomach problems, missed several meals, and thought he wouldn't make it. He felt lonely, abandoned, and very small. It was just before he set the tent on fire when he knocked over a primus burner. And he lost 28 kilos and was close to wetting his pants as he struggled with frozen fingers in the cold.
Feeling the dark forces is what makes life beautiful
There was enough resistance. But he stood through it. One day at a time.
"I was very down and had to be much more patient with myself than I knew I normally could be. But…
They were just feelings, and you don't die from negative feelings. We are extremely resilient as humans. You can experience the worst things, something happening to your children or the family being affected. But it's here that you simultaneously experience how enormous your strengths are. See what you went through while it stormed. We can do much more than we think, and I noticed that at the South Pole.
We all have our expeditions in life. It's important to handle them as best as possible. You don't always have to get out of the tough periods as quickly as possible. Sometimes you can stand in it, become fascinated, and go even deeper into it – maybe even so deep that you begin to love it. The problem in our society is that we have to become so-called "happy". There's something wrong with you if you're restless or anxious. If you're not happy, you need to pull yourself together.
He continues with strength in his voice.
"But no! It's completely normal to have difficult feelings inside. Then you can learn to handle the downturns, so you're better prepared for the next ones. You can't prepare for everything, but you can always learn something from the resistance."
– Do we all have more mental strength than we think?
"Undoubtedly. One thing is to have the mental strength to ski far, but even more important is to pursue your dream. Or master your life. Or live even stronger than you thought possible. Sometimes clients say to me: "I want to bet on my dream, but imagine if it doesn't succeed." Then I say: "But imagine if it does».”
He takes a short pause.
"Imagine if it works. Imagine if you were able to create a strong enough belief that made it happen. Imagine what a wonderful journey it would give you." That's mental training: creating belief. If I hadn't believed I could reach the South Pole, it would have affected me enormously negatively along the way. But the belief that it would work was always with me. We humans have a great ability to believe.
– What about the fear? Can't it kill the faith?
“The fear is there. The one that says you won't succeed, that you're not good enough. It kicks in naturally. But instead of getting rid of your fear, compensate with faith, joy, desire, energy, action, and confidence. You must be full of the good feelings. The way you talk to and about yourself matters.”
He recalls a quote from the Norwegian alpine skier Aksel Lund Svindal.
“I welcome fear,” he said. That's good. Because then you make fear harmless. We must not make fear, sorrow, or discomfort dangerous. Feeling the dark forces is what makes life beautiful in the end.
After he had fought his way through the merciless landscape on his way to the South Pole, he had a particularly strong experience one evening in the tent.
I experienced the purest form of happiness: A warm cup of cocoa, in a dry sleeping bag, after 12 hours on skis, he says
He drank from the cup while tears rolled down his cheeks.
“I think I've become even more humble after my expedition to the South Pole. Out there, I felt incredibly small and vulnerable. I was the world's loneliest person on the coldest and windiest continent. I was completely inferior to the forces of nature and could have been eaten and spat out. But I stood by it.”
That's what we learned from Erik
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Life is not about avoiding the hard and difficult.
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You can handle much more than you think. Stick to it and don't take life too seriously. You won't survive it anyway.
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Build a strong belief in yourself. Then fear won't stand in the way of your dream.
Photographer: Nikolaj Schwaner
Journalist: Lasse Lønnebotn
MAN IN THE SHIRT “The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood” - quote by Theodore Roosevelt in Paris, 1910. In the portrait series “Man in the Shirt,” BARONS meets individuals who have in common that they have put themselves in play and at risk. Where do they find courage? What is the most important thing they have learned along the way? And what can we learn from them?
